Choose to Be Happy

Smiley face pancakes with blueberry eyes and strawberry lips for Marley and Jackson

Life is about choices. From the moment we wake up in the morning to the moment we close our eyes at night, we are faced with hundreds of thousands of choices. What to wear, what to eat, coffee or tea, and that’s just the first few. How about choosing how to feel?

Have you ever considered that choosing how you feel could be something you have complete control of? This is a concept we are working with our children on. We choose to be happy. Nothing is strong enough to keep us down. There may be bumps and bruises that cause us to cry from the initial pain, but in order to move on we choose to get back up again with a smile, laugh, and learn what could have prevented those tears.

Last weekend, I chose to commit myself to myself. That was not a typo. I registered and made the first move in fully committing to creating a better me. Come January 15th I will begin this journey through an intensive self discovery and leadership program that focuses on emotional intelligence. Hundreds of people travel from all over the country, and the world, to participate in this program. I fortunately only need to travel about 20 minutes from my front door. I’ve observed the break through and changes my husband has gone through, and am both nervous and excited to experience my own.

I teased him the other day that he was using words from the program on me. Our Friday afternoon was a hectic one. The morning had flown by. It was noon and we had an hour to get out the door. That didn’t happen of course. After scrambling to finish my blog for Halloween, him scrambling to finish commitments he’d started on that morning, we were finally ready to leave. ?The kids were strapped in the car. We went over our check list of must haves before driving away and realized we didn’t have Marley’s cane. The next half hour was spent searching every closet, corner, in and under every bed and couch, combed every inch of the backyard, and couldn’t find it anywhere. Marley couldn’t remember where she’d put it, and I let my frustrations of me overcommitting to too many events in too short of time come out in this one predicament. Hubby caught me snapping at Marley, and said, “Back off of Marley. This is our breakdown. We shouldn’t take it out on her.”

He was right.

I sulked, sighed, and chose to change my mood. We got back in the car, and we headed off to our first event for the day. Even though Marley didn’t have her cane with her. It was still a successful play date. We met little Dillon and his parents, all three of whom are blind. Dillon’s mom and I had arranged the play date so that Marley could show Dillon her cane. He had recently been given his first cane and doesn’t want to use it. We met them at their house, and all walked to the park together. Marley and Jackson showed Dillon’s mom their Halloween costumes by what we call, “Seeing with our hands.” Jackson was excited to see Dillon’s dad had a cane too since his Daddy doesn’t have one. Fun was had by all as the kids ran, swung, climbed, hid, and slid, and us grown ups bounced ideas around and made plans for future outings together.

Like I tell my children when they are upset, let’s make a choice on how we will feel for the rest of the day. Let’s choose to feel happy.

Now, go out and make it a Happy day!

Need a little help on getting started? Go to www.24hoursofhappy.com for an instant boost.

This website cannot be view over mobile devices, so if you don’t happen to have access to a computer at the moment, than watch it on YouTube instead.

Happy 1st of November

Happy first of November to you and yours. There’s nothing very clever or insightful I have to write about today. I’m still trying to wake up and clear my head from the wine and candy from the night before. Our Halloween festivities kept us out until about 1am. It’s noon and we just ate breakfast. Now, what on Earth are we going to do with two grocery bags full of candy? Luckily, I found a willing 20 year old to pon off one of the bags to. I’m sure he and his room mates will enjoy it. I’ve hidden the other bag so that we aren’t tempted to sneak anymore. Those will be saved to be used as bribery treats. I see no shame in bribing my kids.

Here we were about to get in line to enter a awesome neighborhood haunted house. By then Marley and Jackson had ditched their fairy wings and firefighter helmet, and I’d lost the tooth off of the top of my cane.

Goals for this Saturday… after a cup of hot chai tea, I will…

1. Put Halloween decor away.

2. Daily house chores in keeping the house tidy; laundry, clean the kitchen, clean the bathrooms, and pick up the kids rooms.

3. Get some Braille fun worked into the day with Marley. I’m designing a tactile board game for Marley to practice her Braille and learn how to read simple words. I’m also going to order more Braille tape, and clear adhesive paper for putting Braille into books. You know that contact paper you use for lining drawers and cabinets? I’ve discovered that that is the most cost effective way to go to turn a regular print book into a book with Braille.

4. Pull out the slow cooker. The cool weather has finally arrived in Las Vegas. The temperatures dropped about 30 degrees overnight. I woke up the the sound of the wind gusting outside, wind chimes going crazy, and the delicious smell of rain. It’s going to be a soup kind of night.

And 5. Get in some sort of physical family fun. It’s a little too windy for a hike. Perhaps a family yoga session, or a family dance party with a game of twister?

What does your first of November look like for you?

Until tomorrow, make it a great day!

Happy Halloween

I am such a kid when it comes to Halloween. The decorations of slightly spooky touches are here and there and everywhere in our house. If my husband let me have my way, there would be cobwebs hung from every doorway, and orange and black everything. We’ve managed to keep a happy medium with bewitching classy yet sophisticated spookers.

The other night, I single handly carved both pumpkins. Hubby had homework to finish, so we all set up shop together in the backyard to enjoy one another’s company while he edited and I carved.

The kids were all about helping, until it was time to stick their hands in the pumpkin and pull out the guts.

Not a bad job for my first solo pumpkin carving, especially since part of the first pumpkin was already rotting away. We’ll just call this one our aperra singing jack-o-lantern.

And this one? He’s our Jack-o-lantern with the lazy eye.

What I’m most excited about his Halloween are our costumes. Last year we dressed up as the Super Rupps, with Supermom wearing a wine bottle opener on her sparkly purple utility belt that matched her sparkly purple cape. I’m bummed we don’t have a decent family photo of the Super Rupps.

This year,…

Marley is a, “Fairy Princess Pirate from the Pumpkin Patch Neverland Hunting Forest.”

Jackson is a, “Firefighterman.”

Hubby is Hazmat Control from the CDC.

And I’m the Tooth Fairy.

This is my first year EVER incorporating my cane as part of my costume. I miraculously fit into my high school senior prom dress, had the hubby cut out paper teeth for my toothy tiarra, and topped it all off with a giant construction paper tooth on my cane.

After pressing publish on this blog, we’re rushing out to a park play date this afternoon with a little 2.5 year old boy who just received his first cane. Both his parents are also blind, and great role models for all kids both blind and sighted. I’m excited for Marley and Jackson to meet them. I’m positive this will just be our first play date of many.

And lastly, we will be ending our day with chile, trick-or-treating in a neighborhood where the community actually still celebrates with hundreds of kids running around, and roasting marshmallows around the fire pit.

Here’s to a safe and Happy Halloween to you and your little ghosts, goblins, and gools.

E is for Educate, F is for Farm

Every day is a day to educate the world about blindness. I especially love when I am given the opportunity to tell a child about my cane. You see, I am not totally blind. I have some vision, but not enough to read print, and prefer to use a cane if I want my steps to be confident instead of uncertain. Not all blind people are totally blind. Some may prefer to use the term visually impaired or having low vision. Visual acuity measured at 20/200 is what is considered legally blind. Not every blind person uses the same terminology, just like they may not use the same tools. A person may choose to read Braille, while another person may choose to use magnification devices. A person may choose to use a cane, while another person chooses to use a guide dog.

I walked around without a cane for 22 years of my life before being introduced to the National Federation of the Blind and attended the Louisiana Center for the Blind, what is commonly referred to as the Bootcamp for the Blind. This was when I received my very first long white cane, where I learned how to read Braille, and was introduced to the NFB’s philosophy that whether blind or sighted, if a person is given the opportunity, and the training, they too can compete equally with their sighted peers. This also, was where I gained confidence to travel independently. So, when a child asks me what that stick is, and the parents tell them to shush. I jump at the opportunity togive a lesson about the cane and the common misconceptions about blindness.

E is for Educate.

A cane is a tool for independence. The metal tip reverberates sound and vibrations of texture to allow the user to use echo location to gather information. The fact that this cane, the long white cane, does not fold, means very little information is lost from the tip to the handle. A simple tap can let you know if the building is in front of you or slightly to the left. While walking through a parking lot, echo location from the metal tip informs you upon coming up to a parked car or even a shopping cart.

“What about those canes with the red handles?”

Those canes with the red handles are shorter, heavier, have a plastic or rolling tip, and since they fold into something that can be tucked into a desk drawer, backpack, or purse, are not what I’d prefer to choose for a mode for independent travel.

The long white cane allows me to travel with speed, accuracy, and confidence without the aid or assistance of a sighted person.

F is for Farm

Our most recent lesson on blindness was given to a family on a hay ride during a visit to our local neighborhood farm.

You read that right.

We’ve got a fully functioning farm complete with all sorts of barnyard animals to pet and feed only two miles from our front door.

We visit McKee Ranch every October when it is transformed into a pumpkin patch.

We can’t forget about the old fashioned merry-go-round.

The highlight this year were Marley and Jackson’s first time riding a pony.

And Marley even got to meet Farmer McKee himself.

All in all, I’d say it was a great day!

Oh Miss Marley on the farm

E I E I O

And on the farm we had our canes

E I E I O

With a tap tap here

With a tap tap there

Here a tap

There a tap

Everywhere a tap tap

Oh Miss Marley on the farm

E I E I O

From Mommy Can’t, to Mommy Can

walking home from the fall festival

A few Saturdays ago, I told the kids to put on their Halloween costumes and we would be going to the Fall Festival. As we walked out the front door, Marley asked me, “Who’s going to drive us?” My simple reply, “Nobody’s going to drive us baby. It’s just us, and we’re going to have a great day.”

Snacking on our loot of candy after the festival

It saddened me when I realize earlier that week that my daughter has begun to notice the mommy can’ts, more than the mommy cans. Mommy can’t drive. Mommy can’t read small letters. Mommy can’t this. Mommy can’t that.

All you want as a mom is for your children to look up to you and want to be like you, right? If she is acknowledging these things now, than what else will she start to pick up on? Especially if she is going to grow up to be a confident and strong young woman. I want her to know that mommy can, so she too can.

This mommy has decided to abolish the phrase, “Mommy can’t,” from our household vocabulary. From now on, it will be all about what mommy, “can,” do.

Mommy can read Braille. Mommy can cook. Mommy can bake cookies and cakes. Mommy can hike. Mommy can fix my toys. Mommy can take us to the festival. Mommy can hulu hoop on one foot. Mommy can sew my dolly back together.

Hiking at Valley of Fire State Park

Strength, confidence, and passion are the characteristics I want my children to see when they look at me. What are a few things you want your children to see in you?

My 75th Blog Post

75! Have I really written 74 blogs? It feels like I’ve just started this blogging thing. I remember meeting my friend Mandy in the park when Jackson was about six months old and her telling me all about her blog. She encouraged me for weeks to share my stories. Now, Jackson is three, no longer in diapers, Marley is in pre-k, and learning Braille, and I’m sitting here writing my 75th blog.

Crazy! Time sure does fly when you’re having fun blogging.

Some of you may have been with me from the beginning, and many of you have just recently started following my blog. I would like to thank each and every one of you for taking the time to read my ramblings.

As many of you have noticed, I’ve been writing much more frequently than before. I’ve said it out loud, but now I’m going to put into words of my intentions. Blogging is a fun outlet for my creative fingers to type away any stress or funny moments that may be currently passing through my life. I’ve feared that if I take it to the next level of blogging, it will turn into a job, and no longer be fun. Time to kick that fear out of the driver seat and take my blogging to that next level. Over the weekend, I’ve created a Facebook page. Today, I purchesed my own domain so that Blind Mom in the Burbs is no longer at a .wordpress.com, but at it’s own .com. The results of posting more frequently, I’ve gained more traffic, in turn more followers. Drumroll please…and the final goal of all of this…to in the some day soon to be near future get picked up by a publishing company for these awesome words of mine and make a little bit of money from my musings. I’ve always dreamt of becoming a published author, so here I go. Wich me luck.

It’s taken me 2,5 years to publish 75 blogs. Get ready for some fun, because in the next 75 days I’ll be here sharing recipes, fashion do’s and don’ts, seeking advice, venting, laughing along with you as you read, blog give aways, and so much more!

Below are my 10 favorite blogs from the last few years, in no particular order.

The Grass is Always Greener

October Reflections

See With Your Fingers Mom

Eggnog Cookies

The End of An Era. Thank You Meetup.com

Marley and Me Musical Chairs

Making This My Mantra

Surviving VS Living

Pulling a Terri

Do’s and Don’ts to Remember When Meeting a Blind Person

Good Morning Monday, and Good Morning Vomit!

Good morning Monday, and greetings to the last week of October. We are still blessed with temperatures of highs in the low 80s and high 70s. I’m still anticipating being able to wear my favorite fall sweater, an orange and white striped wool blend I’ve had around longer than my children.

After a late night of pigging out on pizza, and a few glasses of wine, I was pleasantly awakened by my daughter’s cries for me from the toilet this morning. With my eyes still partially crusted shut, I made my way slowing toward uninviting aromas of diarrhea and vomit wafting down the hallway. Thanks to her warning, my feet avoided the chunky slumps of the two slices of pepperoni pizza she’d inhaled which were now beautifully displayed all over the bath mat and bathroom floor.

Good morning vomit. It’s been a while since you’ve graced us with your presence. I remember the days where you consisted of breast milk and always seemed to know that we were about to head out the door. You were always so precise in making sure to cover any nice outfits I wore. As the kids grew, you grew into the delicious car vomit on road trips seeping into each and every nook and cranny of the kids’ car seats. My favorite visit was after Marley had consumed an entire bottle of milk, and a few sticks of string cheese. I’m sure you remember this day just as clearly as we do. We’d just been rear ended while in a caravan of cars on our way to visit the hubby’s grandfather’s grave on the one year anniversary of his death. Oh and of course, who can forget our drive to San Diego where you decided you want to tag along two hours into our five hour drive. You were a constant companion throughout Marley’s terrible twos, you never seemed to miss a beat, or miss a night terror. I’ll have to admit, I wasn’t surprised when you showed up last summer on our 3,500 mile, 3 week, 4 state, camp-o-than. It definitely made it more interesting traveling with a throw up bowl, rushing Marley out of the tent in the middle of the night, and taking her to get her blood drawn for all sorts of test upon our return home. So you see vomit, you and I, we go way back. There isn’t anything you can do to phase me.

As a blind mom, vomit and I have an even closer connection than moms who can see. During the clean up process, I need to rely on my nonvisual techniques to make sure I’ve done the job, and done the job well. Nonvisual techniques such as, feeling around to making sure I’ve covered every square inch of the floor, picking up all the chunks with my fingers, and sniffing around the house to make sure there are no splatters I’ve missed. I love Clorox Bleech on mornings like these. A little bleech in the toilet for a nice scrub, and a few sprays on the floor. However, I guess vomit wanted me to do a little more than just scrub the toilet and wiped the bathroom floor with a towel. After I thought my morning of cleaning was complete, vomit projectiled it’s way out of Marley all over the kitchen floor. On the bright side, at least it only hit the floor and stayed away from the carpet. Not a problem at all. You see, I had fully intended on mopping yesterday, but never got around to it. So, yes, mop the house it is! This is great. This takes care of my workout for the day because mopping + dancing = calories burned.

That ladies and gentlemen was my Monday morning. Not a bad way to start a day, and not a bad way to start a week. I’m ready to dance my way through each and every obstacle or challenge thrown”my way.

I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Stanford Elementery Needs Your Help

What is literacy to you? For me, it’s not just the ability to read. It’s having access to books. So many children out there are denied this access. No, this isn’t just about blind children. This applies to all children.

Do you remember the excitement of diving into a new book. Do you recall the feeling of dread, hope, fear, exhilaration as your hero or heroin battled demons, solved crimes, and traveled into outer space?

Here is your chance togive this same feeling to the students of Stanford Elementary School in Las Vegas. I have been asked by dear friends to spread the word. They are working on creating a digital library for the school. This digital library will not only make it possible for multiple students to check out the same book. This library will give blind or low vision students access to every single book their sighted peers have at just a simple click.

Please visit this link to donate to this incredible cause. We have already donated, and hope that some of you will too join in bringing brightness into these childrens lives.

https://secure.thepef.org/support_choicecenter.php

Sharing is Caring

Some people probably wonder why I often write such personal things here on my blog, and some people probably criticize me for being so open about my family and our struggles. To quote my wonderful husband, in response to those people who ask why,? “Why not?”

Why not share? After all, sharing is caring. I explain this simple concept to my children every day.

Why not share my joys, my journeys, my tears, my triumphs, my loves, and my passions?

Why not give a blind child a glimpse of a beautiful future that maybe one day she too can be a mom? Why not give hope to a blind parent who has recently received the diagnosis that their child cannot see? Why not give inspiration to blind students, blind seniors, blind veterans, and everyone else out there? Why keep my positive outlook on blindness and on life hidden from the world? Why not share?

Here are two photos I shared on my other blog, the Seed Project. I was inspired by my aunt who recently suffered from a stroke. She was parylized on her left side. After a few weeks of rehabilitation, she walked into her home, which her two sisters had remodeled for her. She walked on her own, unassisted by anyone, but the help of a cane. My aunt is a strong and sassy woman who loves life. She loves a good glass of wine, she loves to dance, and she has an infectious laugh. Knowing that in just a few weeks she is able to walk alone while stylishly rocking her cane, I know that she will again one day strut her stuff in sexy stiletto heels out onto a dance floor and shake it.

I am told my so many people that I am an inspiration, but today, I will tell you all that my aunt is my inspiration.