Tag Archives: Blind

The Potty Party

It occured to me that I have never posted a blog on potty training as a blind parent.  Now that I’ve gone through it twice, I feel adequate enough to be able to pass on a few things I’ve learned  during this exciting developemental milestone.

1.  They are ready when they are ready.

With Kid #1 I was determined to have her out of diapers before Kid #2 was born, which was just before she was to turn 2.  It almost took an entire year of trying again and again before she was completely potty trained.  Moms, my best piece of advice is don’t give in to the peer pressures of parenting.  Just because the other 2 year olds your child may be playing with are already completely speaking full sentences, riding tricycles, and are both day and night time potty trained doesn’t mean your kid is any bit behind in development.  I took a much more relaxed approach on potty training with Kid #2 letting me show me the signs that was ready to use the potty, and believe me, it was much for stress free and fun.

2.  Go with the Potty Training Bootcamp Method.

Learn all about How to Potty Train Your Kid Boot Camp Style by Alpha Mom.

I used this method with both of my children.  With Kid #1 it was more like a week before she was completely potty trained.  Since it was August in Las Vegas, I kept her completely naked accept for underwear.  She quickly learned she did not like being wet and would cry for fresh ones after an accident.  She seemed to pick up on going npoop much quicker than pee.  This is probably because going poop required a little more concentration.  At just past 2 and a half years old Kid #2 woke up one morning and told me he wanted to use to toilet.  This kid doesn’t even call it the potty.  He says toilet.  In less than three days he was completely potty trained, with pee that is.  He refuses to sit and poop on the toilet.  It’s been a month now and he still refuses to use the toilet.  After tossing out almost all of his underpants from being fed up with washing out poop, I decided we were going to have to resort to Pull Ups.  This way I’m not stuck with a mess, and he can still easily use the toilet on his own.

I can’t say one kid was easier than the other.  It may have been easier with Kid #1 since my son was still taking two long naps a day and barely yet mobile.  We spent much of our time playing outside under the patio, with the water table, and when we were inside we stayed in the main living areas of the house to limit where accidents might happen.  There were a few times when she didn’t tell me about an accident and I found myself slipping in pee on the floor.  However with Kid #2, his older sister loved being on Potty Patrol and helped get him excited about being a big kid like her.  It wasn’t hot yet, so my blind mommy trick this time around to limit clean up was to keep him in thick sweatpants.  I know, you’re probably thinking, “Sweatpants? ” Yes, sweatpants. His underpants and the thick sweat pants material soaked up any of the pee he might have from accidents, meaning no messy clean up on the rugs or floor.  Kid #2 is even worst than his sister when it comes to not wanting to be wet.  He’d cry immediately for dry clothes after an accident.  We just need to get past this pooping problem with this one.

3.  Make it a Potty Party.

If you’re feeling anxious or stress out about the process, than so will your child.  Decide that week that you’ll be doing laundry everyday and going through a ton of towels.  Get a big bag of treats whether you prefer jelly beans, M&M’s, stickers, etc.  We used a poster board where we drew stars, happy faces, and sad faces,  Then we ran to the kitchen where everyone who was home got a mini M&M.  Lastly, we all danced to the front of the house where my Freedom Bell was kept and took turns ringing it shouting, “Woohoo Jacksn went peepee in the potty!”  Make it fun, be silly, sing, dance, and enjoy!

Marley and Me Musical Chairs

Photo of Marley and me

I feel like I’m in a real life game of musical chairs.  First I was the blind child, then the blind student, then the blind parent, and now I’m sitting in the seat as the parent of a blind child.

This blog has been a draft in progress, and I’m finally ready to share it with you all.

About 2.5 years ago, we brought my daughter into see the pediatrician for a double ear infection.  This was when it was first brought to our attention that she had a nystagmus.  After a few trips to the eye doctor, we were given the diagnosis of Spasmus Nutans.  This is the combination of the Nystagmus, Amblyopia (lazy eye), and a head tilt in response to the other two symptoms.  We were told that this was common in eye development in toddlers and it should correct itself by school age.

Over the next 2 years it looked as if it was somewhat getting better, only showing when she was really tired or concentrating to see something at a distance.  But  as her fourth birthday came around, we noticed more and more signs that perhaps we were just looking for it to get better because the doctor said it would

I noticed that she was having difficulty seeing the letters in her books while we were working on reading and writing.  My husband noticed she was having difficulty tracking things at a distance.  Some of my close friends noticed that when she went to grab an object, it looked as if she wasn’t reaching directly for that object but more feeling for it.

I couldn’t believe I let two years go by since her last eye check up.  When I called to make an appointment in January, the first available appointment wasn’t until May.  This wasn’t acceptable, especially to a worried parent.  After asking around, I found another ophthalmologist who came very highly recommended in my network of moms.  I also decided to contact the school district to see if she would qualify to get into their preschool program, because if she would be needing any services I wanted to start the process sooner than later.

After a series of assessments with the school nurse, psychologist, vision test, and hearing test, we sat down to our first IEP (Independent Education Plan) this last Tuesday.  It was determined that my daughter qualifies to start preschool under the fact that she would be a blind/low vision student.  Keep in mind that we hadn’t yet seen the new eye doctor.  There was much discussion about what accommodations and services she would be given  As I’d expected, there was much disagreement on the topic of Braille.  The low vision specialist claimed she felt my daughter has too much vision to learn Braille, that it would slow her down and confuse her.  Knowing the IEP process, and knowing that I was able to ammend it if I felt need be, I simply told them that if they didn’t want to teach her Braille in preschool, that was fine with me.  I am already teaching her Braille, and by the time the school district is ready to approve Braille instruction, she’ll already be fully reading uncontracted Braille, and far ahead of her peers.

A few days later, on this last Friday we visited her new eye doctor.  It turns out that she doesn’t just have the three sypmtons that make up Spasmus Nutans.  She’s got Optic Atrophy just like her mama.  It’s very possible it was a dormant gene that appeared in me, then I passed to her.  It could be that since we weighted two years without treating the Amblyopia, it caused the atrophy in the eye.  It could be a fluke coincidence.  However, all that matters is, she’s got the same eye condition as me.  The doctor also told us that her vision loss is severe enough that Braille would be best for her. Forcing her to read print would only strain and stress her eyes thus possibly making things worse.

I’ll be honest.  This weekend consisted of a whole lot of tears, a whole lot of guilt, a whole lot of grief, a whole lot of anger, but also a whole lot of of inpouring of love and support.  It also consisted of a whole lot of pride.  On sunday morning, I heard my daughter chatting away while she was eating her pancakes.  My mommy ears perked up when I heard her say, “X is 1 3 4 6.”  I then asked her to show it to me, which she did on the little wooden Braille block that we play with.  She then told me that X was her favorite letter in Braille.  I was overwhelmed by the comforting feeling that no matter what, everything will be fine.  She is a happy, healthy, beautiful, bright, and strong little girl that will succeed in whatever her heart desires.

With my own personal experiences, with the resources and support through the National Organization of Parents of Blind Children and the National Federation of the Blind, with the love of family and friends who will treat her like every other little girl out there and not like a child that needs to be tended to or coddled, I plan to surround her with nothing but positivity and make sure that she grows up to be a confident young lady doing whatever she wants to in life.

So…to my dear sweet Marley, this song is for you, because you’re amazing just the way you are.

If Only I Had Braille When…

If only I had Braille when…I was a child learning how to read.

If only I had Braille when…my classes took turns reading out loud and I was skipped over because I couldn’t even read the large print books that the schools provided me.

If only I had Braille when…the waiter handed me the menu when I sat down with my friends at a restaurant.

If only I had Braille when…my kids asked me to read the signs on the trails where we were hiking.

If only I had Braille when…my son had a 102 degree fever and I had a brand new box of medicine and didn’t know the correct dosage to give him.

If only I had Braille when…I was reading the directions on the box of blueberry muffin mix.

If only I had Braille when…I wanted to read a nutrition label on a granola bar wrapper.

If only I had Braille when…my kids find a new book and want me to read it to them.

If only I had been offered Braille as a child instead of fighting to learn it as an adult.

If only Braille was as common as print.

If only all blind or visually impaired children were taught Braille so they wouldn’t have to struggle to read as adults.

Braille is something that I am very passionate about.  Tonight as I was reading my children their bedtime stories, I started thinking, “If only I had Braille when…”

Did you know that only 10% of blind or visually impaired children are taught Braille?

Did you know that as a child I struggle to read large print, falling behind in school, and working twice as hard as my peers to keep up?

Did you know that I didn’t fully become literate until the age of 23 when I finally learned Braille?

What if only 10% of sighted children were taught how to read.

I have to admit, I haven’t thought about these things quite as much in the last few years.  However, now that I am teaching my own daughter how to read and write, and now that I am personally transcribing many of the books that are on their bookshelves into Braille so that I can read to them because it is faster than waiting for new Braille/print books.  As a child, I used to wish that I could be either completely sighted or completely blind so that I wouldn’t have to be stuck in the middle, always having to explain my so called disability.

Now all I wish for is for more Braille.

More Braille for blind children learning how to read.

More Braille for blind adults all over the world.

More Braille.  More Braille.  More Braille.

First Day of School, Not Here in Our House Though.

Today was the first day of school for most kids in Las Vegas.  Both parents and kids were full of excitement and maybe just a little bit of anxiety this morning.  Alarm clocks buzzing, lunch bags and backpacks getting double checked so that nothing is forgotten, new shoes laced, tied, and double tied for plenty of playground fun, and we can’t forget about those first day photos getting posted to Instagram, Facebook , Twitter, and texted to grandparents.

But none of that happened here in our house.  The kids and I slept in until 8:30am.  My husband and I enjoyed a big breakfast and coffee out on the patio while the kids ran around in their bathing suits splashing in the rain and the kiddy pool water slide.  Now Jackson is napping, Marley is watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, hubby working in the garage, and I’m cranking out this blog.

Why isn’t Marley starting school today?  Well…here’s what I told my next door neighbor when she asked me this morning.

Marley is still only three, and not turning four until November.  This means she won’t be starting Kindergarten until fall of 2015 because of the age cut off here in Nevada.  As a stay at home mom, I don’t think it is necessary to send her to two years of preschool.  We spend a few hours each day working on preschool activities, and also incorporate learning into everything we do; from trips to the grocery store, gardening in the backyard, or strolls through the park.  I run a neighborhood mommy meet up group so the kids get plenty of socialization.  My husband’s work schedule gives him quite a bit of time home, making it easy for us to go camping, hiking, to museums, visit local orchards and farms, and take countless road trips exposing the kids to hands on learning opportunities like our upcoming trip to the Astronomy Festival at Great Basin National Park.  We are even giving a little bit of thought about homeschooling our kids completely.

I go back and forth on homeschooling.  There are so many pros and cons  to consider.  As a blind parent I will definitely have a few more challenges with home schooling than a sighted parent.  I can’t read handwriting, so I will have a tough time teaching my kids how to write.  I am not very tech savvy, and a lot of the curriculum comes from online sources, including PDF format which aren’t screen reader friendly.  However, homeschooling would mean we would have more control over our children’s education.  Nevada has one of the worst public school systems in the nation.  We can continue to incorporate learning in our frequent family trips.  We won’t need to worry about things like bullying, unhealthy school lunches, transportation, etc.  Like I said, so many pros and cons.

So for the next two years, at least until I need to make a decision about Kindergarten, my kids will be getting their education here at home.  I’ll talk to more parents who have chosen to homeschool and do the research so that we can make the best decision for our family.  For the next two years we won’t need to worry about alarm clocks on Monday morning delegating the start of another week.  I am going to suck up every moment of our family quality time.  Whether those moments may be adorable, annoying, or aggravating, they’ll be gone before I no it.

Mommy Makeover

I can tell you the last three times that I’ve worn make up.  Last night, at a friend’s wedding where I was a bridesmaid in 2008, and at my own wedding in 2007.  I haven’t owned any make up since 2007, and since my daughter destroyed the last of my shimmery lipgloss a few months ago, I haven’t bothered to replace it.  I always used the excuse that I don’t like to wear make up because I don’t need it.  Yes, that is partly true.  I rather do hate the way it feels on my skin.  However the main reason is that I’ve never truly felt comfortable with applying it.  Crazy since I love all other things girly like clothes, shoes, purses, and jewelry, that I can’t even apply my own make up.

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Here’s a great candid from my wedding of me and two of my best gal pals, Yolanda and LM. These are two very confident and beautiful blind women.

I know plenty of blind women who wear make up daily.  I’ve been part of plenty of seminars teaching blind youth about beauty tricks and tips.  but when it comes down to it, I am 30 years old and I can’t even put on my own make up.  Don’t think that this is an, “Oh poor me, pity party,” blog post.  This is more of a self admission of the truth.  Why should I let this bother me and make me feel any  less feminine?

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That’s me in the same outfit I wore last night, but this was last January with my friends Deja and Jessica, also two stylish blind bloggers.

This weekend I had one of my oldest and dearest friends in town and my husband and I join her and her friends for dinner and dancing.  I decided to wear my fit and flare snake skin print dress from Express, black peep toe Maryjane pumps, a thin black belt, my black coral necklace I bought in Hawaii, and dangly silver and black earrings.  Something seemed to be missing.  Especially if I was going the Hakkasan Nightclub, supposedly the “It” club of the season.  I thought about leaving early and stopping at Sephora or Mac for a little makeover and picking up some basics, but that would mean leaving the baby sitter would need to arrive earlier, and we already planned to have her for ten hours with the kids.  So I sucked up my pride and asked a good friend if she wouldn’t mind stopping by to help me out with my make up.  She did an incredible job.

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There I am with hubby all done up before heading out to Las Vegas Blvd for the night.

Now that I am 30. my skin isn’t as great as it used to be.  The dry climate has perpetuated a constant cycle of dry/oily skin.  I think it’s time I start looking into doing a little bit more for my face.  And for those evenings where I want to get dressed up and look just a little bit glamorous, maybe it’s time I invest in some basic essentials in the make up department.

How Much is Too Much?

In today’s world of social media, how much is too much when it comes to writing about yourself?  We live in a new found openness where everything is “shared”, “tweeted”, or “liked”  Where everyone and their mom has a Facebook account, well not my mom, but she is subscribed to my blog.  What happened to those days where you weren’t supposed to air your dirty laundry in your front yard?  Now a days, I often find out that friends have gotten engaged or ended a marriage by checking a few boxes in their public profiles.

Now…what about me and this blog?

How much is too much when it comes to writing about me and my family?  I have more than once gotten in trouble by things that I have written either via Facebook status or here on a blog post.  I tend to be ruled by my emotions, and also have a harsh passive aggressive tongue.  However, in contrast, I have also been applauded for my openness and honesty on writing about some very personal and sensitive subjects.  I have started about half a dozen drafts and deleted them in fear that they might be too much.

So…how much is too much?

In a previous blog post entitled, “Blogglng Can Be Like Therapy,” I wrote that I used to think people were crazy to write about themselves in such personal ways on the internet.  Here I am!  I am one of them.  Just today alone, I have already posted five times on Facebook.  Once this blog is published, it will be six times.

Yesterday I was overcome by a combination of utter exhaustion and about one hundred and one emotions all at the same time.  I found myself crying in our car in a popular posh shopping venue.  I sat there for over an hour wallowing in self pity and made my husband take our kids to meet my friends.  I can’t explain what caused  my melt down.  Maybe I’m depressed, maybe I’m under stimulated, maybe I’m lonely, maybe I’m about to start my period.  I suppose it is probably a combination of all of the above.  Maybe I’ll let a professional decide that.

Some people might read this and think, “Wow!  What a whiny  spoiled brat.  She is in a marriage  where many women would probably trade their left lung for.  She gets to spend her day playing with her two kids in a house in the suburbs planning play dates and parties.”

After reading Stephen Covey’s “Seven Habbits of Highly Effective People,” I have decided that I will no longer let the fear of what people think rule what I do.  I am going to write a personal mission statement and then together we will write our family mission statement.  I will write more blogs, work out more for my physical and mental health, read more Braille so I don’t loose a skill I had to fight to learn, and just overall be a better person.

So…was that too much?

Finding Time to Blog

I apologize that it has been over a month since my last blog.  I started Blind Mom in the Burbs last April.  At the time, my son was only six months old and my daughter was two and a half.  Our computer was in the back corner of the family room.  Now, My son is sixteen months, daughter is almost three and a half, and the computer is in the music/workout/computer/den in the very front of the house.  You can only imagine the difference a year makes.

Finding time to blog when you are home alone with two toddlers, is like finding time to breathe when you are under water.  It’s practically impossible.

Let me tell you about my morning.

My husband and I are on our second week of a 45 day cleanse.  This means, for 45 days this mama cannot eat pork, eggs, dairy, gluten, drink alcohol, on a strick eating schedule, and to top it all off, NO COFFEE.  I am going to be honest.  Last week was tough.  I started off my first day of NO COFFEE with a horrible hangover from going out the night before for a friend’s birthday.  Now that the coffee withdrawals are gone, I have found that burst of energy I was told about, and I feel great!

So with my newly discovered energy this morning, I decided to put away the laundry, tidy up the kids rooms, clean the play room, and scrub the bathrooms before a play date this afternoon.  I just assumed both my children were in the family room watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  I should have  known better than to assume.  After a little while I went in there to check on them, not finding my son I immediately knew where to look.  As I turned the corner down the hall towards my bedroom I could hear the water running.  When I got into my bathroom, I found he had climbed up the tub, onto the counter, and across the sink (the sink we’d turned the wather off to since he had been found sitting in there before with the water on full blast).  He had made his way across the counter to the other sink and turned on the water letting it run over my lotion bottle, soap dispenser, and a glass candle (which he must have broken when dropping it in the sink.  When I went to pick him up, he had a piece of glass in his hand a scraped it across my cheek.  I usually keep all of the bedroom doors closed when he’s awake, but like I mentioned above, I was in the middle of cleaning.  Thankfully all of the broken glass was mostly contained in the sink, and he had no cuts on him.  My cheek is fine.  That is just an example of how that little booger keeps me on my toes.

Please don’t think that I am complaining.  This is merely an explanation of why I have not been blogging.

Any and every time I sit down, whether it be on the couch, ground, or computer chair, my kids think it means it’s time for them to climb all over me.  They are at such an adorable age.  I just can’t justify shewing them away so that I can sit at the computer.  They are only this little for so long.  Before I know it they won’t want anything to do with me.  Oh geese, I’m getting all teary eyed just thinking about that.  So for now, I am spending all of my energy keeping up with my two active toddlers and making sure to fully absorb all of the love they have to throw at me.  This doesn’t mean I’m not going to blog anymore, just not as frequently, because by the time those little ones are ready for bed, so is their exhausted mama.

“See With Your Fingers Mom!”

My two squirmy toddlers on our hammock

My two squirmy toddlers on our hammock

I have always wondered whether or not my children, as well as my dog, realize that mommy doesn’t see like everyone else.  Back when I used to take my dog to the dog park, he would tear off every which way if my husband was also there.  However, if it was just he and I, he never ran further than ten feet away from me.

Even now, with two toddlers, I am often asked how I manage to keep track of them at the park or indoor play gyms.  It’s really no effort at all.  My children are really great with checking in with me every few minutes.  I used to put my daughter in squeaky shoes when I took her to the park, but the shoes usually came off as soon as we got there.  I have heard of some moms putting bells in the laces of their kids shoes.  So with my son, I sometime put bells on his overalls, just because he can’t reply when I call him yet.  He’s also a sneaky little boo gar, that loves to get into everything.

Now that the kids are suffering from yet another cold in this endless cold and flu season, I am constantly wiping and sucking snot out of their noses.  This is quite tricky with squirmy toddlers.  Since I can’t see if there is a string of snot running down one of their faces, I just have to keep on top of it.  The tricky part is practically squishing the one year old to keep his hands in place with my belly and arms and doing a fast, yet very careful nose suck.  I keep one hand on the face both to keep his head still and also as a guide for the other hand that does the sucking.  My three year old is much better at understanding that Mommy needs to see with her fingers to make sure everything is clean.

Last night, we sat and watched the Lion King on the couch and I clipped 20 fingernails and 20 toenails.  I always amaze myself when I accomplish this task.  I can’t exactly describe my trick for managing not to cut any fingers or toes.  It just comes with lots and lots of practice and patience.

Tonight I just had to share what Marley said to me at dinner.  We usually keep the TV off during dinner, but tonight, we just turned the sound down and put some music on in the background.  It was the scary part of Coraline, and Marley kept asking me, “Mama what’s happening?”  I kept telling her that I didn’t know.  So after the tenth or so time of her asking, I said, “Marley, remember that Mommy can’t see like you do.  I can’t see what’s happening on the TV.”  So, to add to her adorable quotable Marley quotes, she replies, “See with your fingers Mom!”

Thankful November in a Nutshell

I started out this month intending on publishing a blog post each day on something I am thankful for.  As you can see by looking at my recent posts, I only made it to day 9.

Here it is in a nutshell.

I am thankful for my parents who raised me to know the difference between right and wrong.  They gave me a brother, who gave me two beautiful nieces, and a sister who is the most loyal friend I could ask for.  They instilled in us the importance of family. showed us how to work hard, and taught us how to love and have compassion for others.

I am thankful for my husband’s family.  Without them, he wouldn’t be the man that he is today.

I am thankful for modern forms of telecommunication like cell phones, texting, emails, Facebook, and skype to help me stay in touch with my family and friends all over the world.

I am thankful for all the friends that I made throughout the years, both near and far.  You all know exactly who you are.

I am thankful for the opportunity to be a stay at home mom and raise two beautiful children who are so eager to learn, and never fail to bring a smile to my face.

I am thankful for a warm cozy bed, food in my fridge, and clothes on my back.

I am thankful for coffee, wine, and chocolate.  These are my drugs of choice.

I am thankful for fuzzy socks.

I am thankful for friendly neighbors who watch out for me and my children when my hubby is gone.

I am thankful the stucco guys finally started painting today and we are closer to having our backyard done.

I am thankful for the opportunity to blog and share my life with you.

And oh yes, one more thing.  I am thankful for my blindness.  Without it, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today.  Every experience, every challenge, every of struggle to try to fit in and look normal, every missed step or curb, every triumph, every mile I’ve traveled, every person I’ve met, every child I’ve taught, every person I’ve influenced, every accomplishment I’ve made or will make in the future are all because of my blindness.  I used to imagine what my life would be like if I had 20/20 vision, but then I wouldn’t be where I am today.  If somebody told me there was an opportunity for me to get all of my vision back, I honestly don’t know what I would do.  So until there is a 100%, 0 side effects, consequence free way, I’m going to have to pass for now.

30 Days of Thankfulness; Day 9


November 9, 2012

I am thankful for a long hot shower and hot tea.

This morning, while I was cooking pancakes for the kids, my husband told me I looked like shit.  He didn’t mean that in a mean way.  He was letting me know he could tell I was feeling pretty sick.  This cough that I’ve had for a few days is now a head cold.  My ears hurt.  My head has so much pressure built up, it feels like my eyes will pop the next time I sneeze.  And if I cough or try to talk, it felt and sounded like a frog crawled in my throat and died.  All I wanted was a nice long hot shower by myself.

If you don’t have children, then you don’t understand how rare those are.  They are truly a luxury for us stay at home moms.  Unless I get my butt out of bed before the kids wake up for a quick in and out rinse, it is rare that I get any time to myself in the bathroom.  If I choose staying in bed rather than showering, I either have to sneak away during Jack’s morning nap or have a little party in the shower with both toddlers at my feet.  So, after I finished making those pancakes, I decided to take advantage of having hubby home in the morning, and take myself a nice LONG HOT shower, alone.

Sadly, it didn’t last long enough.  Those showersnever do.  But the nice trade off for getting out before I was ready was the smell of breakfast sausages and potatoes calling to me.  The smell would usually be accompanied by my favorite smell in the morning, a fresh pot of coffee, but this morning I passed on the coffee.  This morning, and all day, I had what Marley likes to call, “Honey Tea.”  Honey Tea is Chamomile Tea with lots of honey.  The honey is supposed to help get rid of the cough.  Yes, I’m one of those weirdos that doesn’t take medicine unless I’m so sick I can’t get out of bed.

And now as I’m sitting here writing, I have with me a hot cup of Honey Tea accompanied my my favorite drink at night, a glass of red wine.  But I think I’ll save being thankful for wine for another night. 😉