This is a simple question. No metaphors behind the question. I’m merely asking how do you wake up in the mornings?
Do you jump out of bed to an alarm clock?
Do you press the snooz button 5 too many times?
Does your body naturally wake you up?
Do you sleep in the day away?
Next question, how do you feel in the morning?
Are you tired, or are you rested?
Are you dreading the day’s duties, or are you excited and ready to take it on?
How do you spend the first five minutes after waking up?
Does it take you 25 minutes to clear out the cobwebs?
Do you run down the checklist of to-do’s.
Can I tell you what I do?
I wake up to an alarm now. However, it’s not that heart jolting stomach rattling incessant buzzing. It’s to my new favorite song by the talented Nina Porter. I no longer sleep in until my kids come to get me out of bed. no longer dread the morning routine. I wake up with a clear head, outline of goals for the day, and an open mind ready to conquer anything and everything as I say,
Go ahead and try it! Don’t underestimate the power behind music. Find a song you love to wake up to, and I guarantee you’ll be waking up on the right side of the bed every morning.
If you can’t think of a song, feel free to wake up to this one.
Yesterday I cried. I stood in the shower, let the hot water wash away my tears and cried. I felt overwhelmed, overworked, undernourished, under-hydrated, and under the wire. Crying felt amazing. As I cried I released all of those feelings suffocating me and I was able to breathe again.
Shortly before jumping into that shower, I received one of the best pieces of advice from a dear dear friend. I was so focussed on my lists, my schedules, my goals, and my commitments I wasn’t enjoying what was there right in front of me. Here is what she said…
“Tonight when you get in bed, don’t think about what you have to do tomorrow or what you didn’t do today. When you are lying there drifting off to sleep, think about what you get to do tomorrow and what you were able to do today.”
A simple shift of words can be such a powerful thing.
That’s exactly what I did last night. I layed there with both kids curled up on either side of me and my dog at my feet. I thought of how incredibly lucky I was to be there. Instead of thinking of the things I didn’t accomplish, I drifted off to sleep thinking about…
…the telescopes we made out of toilet paper rolls.
…the strawberry banana smoothie we shared.
…the books we read.
…the costumes we made out of ribbons, towels, and socks.
…the conversations I had over the phone with friends and family.
I also did something I usually never purposely do. I left my phone in the kitchen. This morning, instead of waking up to an alarm or alerts from messages, I woke up to my daughter’s head on my chest and her arms and legs wrapped around me, and my son’s toes tucked between my thighs and my arm tucked behind his head. Mornings like this morning are when I do nothing but breathe in their sweet scents, hold them tight, and slowly inhaled savoring each magical second like it’s the last.
Lying there watching the sun creep in, I breathed. We breathed. Three bodies, three hearts, breathing as one.
Last Easter I had a dream. I dreamt that one day, my Marley would be able to participate like her sighted peers in the beloved childhood tradition of hunting for Easter eggs.
For years, I ran a mommy and me meet up group. Every year we held our annual Easter egg hunt potluck. Families brought treat filled eggs to share, the Easter Bunny hunted eggs with the kids, and of course the picnic tables were full of tasty both home made and sore bought delectable delights.
Marley always had a great time, but her basket always contained a fraction of the other kids.
Last year, I was no longer running the mommy group. We attended her friend Sophia’s birthday around Easter. The kids dyed hard boiled eggs, and had their own private Easter Egg hunt in Sophia’s backyard. Marley’s friend Olivia filled up her basket before Marley even had a single egg in hers. Noticing this, Olivia than helped Marley find eggs for her basket. Marley had a blast at the party!
We also spent the week of Easter in California visiting family and spent Easter afternoon at my aunt’s. She has a large grassy backyard perfect for egg hunting. Jackson could care less about hunting for eggs. All he wanted to do was play with the cool tractors, dinosaurs, and swords. Marley put her heart and soul into feeling around for eggs. Just as she got close to finding one, one of the big kids swooped it right up. This happened over, and over, and over, and over. Once again, Marley had a blast just being there and being part of the action.
That egg hunt in my aunt’s back yard broke my heart. Here was a 4 year old girl so excited to hunt for eggs with her cool older cousins. There they were, those older cousins running circles around her piling eggs filled with goodies into their baskets. There Marley was delicately feeling her way through the grass searching for eggs, and swipe. Just before her fingers touch it, it’s gone.
One of my favorite quotes come from Walt Disney. “If you can dream it, you can do it.”
I took that dream and I declared that it will be a reality in 2015.
the Nevada Organization of Parents of Blind Children are collaborating with the Nevada Blind Childrens Foundation and will be delivering this dream on Saturday March 28th at Sunset Park in Las Vegas. We are in the starting stages of plans. We’ve secured a time, date, place, face painter, balloon artist, and volunteers for arts and crafts. We just need to secure the beeping Easter eggs, and donations for food and candy.
I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I am to we working on this event. Stay tuned for more updates as it comes together. Best of all, stay tuned for the blog I will pubish on Monday March 30th sharing all about Marley’s first Beeping Easter Egg Hunt.
Have you ever taken a bite of something so delicious your entire body could practically taste it? Ever wonder how you could replicate that mouth watering savory sensation?
Stop wondering, because you will never be able to duplicate that exactly as the chef prepared it. And seriously, why would you want to?
Why not take it, and make it your own?
I have a new motto I want to share with you. “Life is tastier when you create your own recipe.”
For example, that box of Bisquick in your pantry. The recipe calls for
2 cups Bisquick
1 cup milk
2 eggs
Why stop at just that? Why not add
blueberries
strawberries
bananas
chocolate chips
coconut flakes
oatmeal
nuts
What could be better than starting your day with smiley face pancakes with blueberry eyes and a strawberry mouth?
For Valentine’s Day, how about strawberry heart pancakes?
I hope you realize that I’m not just talking about pancakes here. Where would the world be if we all stuck to the recipe on the box. Just imagine…
What if Thomas Edison stuck to the recipe on his box?
What if Dr. Martin Luther King stuck to the recipe on his box?
What if Bill Gates stuck to the recipe on his box?
What if Steve Jobs stuck to the recipe on his box?
Ever think about the box the blind are placed in?
Blind people are often placed into a soft, padded, protected, illiterate, unemployable box with low expectations.
What if Dr. Jacobus Tenbrook, Dr Kenneth Jernigan, Dr. Marc Maurer, and Mark Riccobono stuck to the recipes on their box? Who are these men you ask? These are the past and current president of the National Federation of the Blind. In 1940 Dr. Tenbrook organized the National Federation of the Blind. This is an organization of the blind, not an organization for the blind. We are changing the misconceptions about blindness, a movement tearing down the walls of inequality, we are blind scientists and blind engineers inventing our future, and we are blind educators and parents teaching the next generation of blind children that they CAN live the life they want.
Do you remember Christine Ha? Just a few years ago she was the winner on the show the Master Chef.
What can be sweeter than a home made Valentine’s Day card for a preschool Valentine’s Day party? Hand made Valentine’s written in Braille.
I’ve never really considered myself the, “Crafty Mom.’ I like to think of myself is the, “Creative Mom.”
What did I do to create these adorable sweet and simple Valentines?
Step 1. On the unlined side of a 3×5 index card, I wrote in Braille, “Happy Valentine’s Day,” on the top left, and, “Love, Marley,” on the bottom right.
Step 2. I measured, folded, and cut rid construction paper just big enough to glue behind the card, hiding the lined side of the card, and creating a red border around the white.
Step 3. Marley placed tactile bubble heart stickers on the top right of the index card.
Step 4. Marley glued the index card onto the red construction paper.
Step 5. With a hole puncher, I punched two holes on the bottom left and tied a red bow.
Step 6. Daddy wrote the same words in print on the back of the card.
I thought about glueing Hershey kisses onto the card, or taping a heart sucker to the back, but decided against adding any extra sugar since I knew she’d be coming home with a box full of sweets.
I shared the photo on Facebook yesterday. My mom called after seeing the photo and asked where I’d bought them from. She said they looked professionally done. I told her, “Nope, they were a Marley and me project. They were simple. They were easy. They were fun!”
All of a sudden, I am hearing twees, chirps, buzzing, and dings left and right. What the heck is going on here? I can’t keep up! From twitter, to Groupme, from Facebook, to Whatsap, everytime I open my phone there are at lease 18 new notifications. You would think I’m overwhelmed by the constant inflow of social media alerts.
Nope, not I! I thrive in this constant communication. Knowing that I’ve got things to do, people to respond to, and taskes to complete keeps me on my toes
I wake up in the morning with a list of goals to accomplish. Now-a-days it seems like my list is longer than ever, but that just means more structure. This type A mom thrives in structure. Calendars, lists, charts, and spreadsheets are my Christmas.
As I move along responding to those tweets, chirps, dings, and buzzes, I think, “Hmm…what a great blog post!” Along with the soon to be written post on public restrooms, recipes, and toilet paper. Don’t miss any of it. If you want to stay on top of those quick instant posts, follow me on Facebook or Twitter.
I am feeling discouraged, disappointed, and disgraced which is the complete opposite of how I thought I’d be feeling this afternoon.
All last week Marley was disappointed because we told her she wasn’t going to be able to participate in her school’s Fun Run on Friday. The run was postponed to today due to rain. Once we learned that it had been moved, we signed her up and in less than 24 hours, Marley raised about $25/lap in pledges from family and friends. Her goal was to run 20 laps. She ended up running 15.
As I’m sitting here typing, my stomach is tide in knots, and tears are flowing. Marley wasn’t allowed to fully participate like her sighted peers in the run. The entire time she was out there, there was someone holding her hand. She even had to stand on the sidelines for a brief stand of the run watching the other students running past her. When she did get to run, she had to hold onto another child’s hand the entire time.
This is a girl who sprints around the neighborhood while her mommy jogs. This is a girl who can run two miles without stopping. This is a girl who runs into any and all situations without fear, without doubt, and without inhibitions.
What the fuck! What is going on while I’m not there? Is her hand constantly being held? Is she coddled? Is she held back from reaching her true potential because of low expectations, because of fear, because of liability?
On our way home I asked her how she felt about the run. Without any enthusiasm she replied, “It was ok.” Digging deeper, I asked her how it felt to run, and how it felt when she had to run holding her classmates hand.
Marley’s answer, “I love running because I feel free, like I can fly. When I was holding someone’s hand I couldn’t move my arms like this, so I couldn’t fly.”
Those powerful words came directly from a five year old’s heart.
Dear Marley,
Mommy wants you to know that you can spread those wings and fly. Don’t let anyone ever tell you you’re not good enough, smart enough, fast enough, strong enough, or pretty enough.
Every now and then I post those adorable, historical, and unforgettable moments on Facebook.
Here are a few recent mommy moments from the past few days I thought I’d share.
Mommy Moments #________
“Kids, we don’t stick straws up our noses in this house!”
“If you want to sleep in my bed you have to wash your hands after pooping.”
“My lap is big enough for both kids, just like my heart is big enough.”
Marley says, “I wish we could cut you in half like we cut pancakes in half so we could both cuddle with you in our beds at the same time.”
Jackson says, “Mommy wipes better than Daddy. I don’t want Daddy to wipe my butt.”
Jackson says, “I want to have a green Ninja Turtle cane so I can be blind like Mommy and Marley.”
Marley says, “When I’m big enough like you, I’m going to have my own husband and he’s going to go to work at his own fire station.”
walking back into the house after I’ve only been gone less than ten minutes for a jog, Jackson runs up and hugs my legs, “Mommy you’re back! I missed you so much!”
…the other morning Jackson slipped into bed with me after Daddy left for work. Each time I tried to get out of bed he wrapped his arms around me saying, “Don’t go, stay with me.”
…Marley just walked in and I had to step away from the computer because she needed, “Marley and Mommy time,” We cuddled on her bed, talked about the plans for the day, I taught her how to make her own grilled cheese and pepperoni sandwich. As she gobbles down her sandwich in the next room, I’m vigorously typing away so that I can dedicate the rest of the day completely present and in the moment, for every single one of those Mommy Moments.
I would love to hear some of your adorable, historical, and unforgettable mommy ,moments.
I asked my husband to creat me an image from his website TheSeedProject.net for my, “C is for Choice,” blog, and this is the image he emailed me. At first, I thought, “Wow I love the words, but a few leaves don’t look like much of an obstacle.” I asked him why didn’t he choose something more, “Obstacle or Opportunity,”ish like a trail or a mountain. That’s when I discovered that I was only seeing the leaves, and not where they were coming from.
This was a photo from our trip to the California Redwood Forest last summer. A Giant Redwood had fallen on it’s side, cut at a straight horizontal angle, and it’s face had been completely charred during a fire. From this fallen, chopped, and charred tree spring life in the form of these little fern leaves.
Merriam Webster defines, “Choice,” as
the act of choosing : the act of picking or deciding between two or more possibilities
the opportunity or power to choose between two or more possibilities : the opportunity or power to make a decision
a range of things that can be chosen
As a parent, I often feel like my choice is worth more now than ever. Every single decision I choose not only effects me, it also effects my children. Whether we realize it or not, those choices big or small might possibly be the defining moments that shape your child or stick with them into adulthood.
It has been almost exactly a year since Marley was diagnosed with Optic Nerve Atrophy. I wrote all about it in my, “Marley and Me Musical Chairs,” post. Once upon a time not to long ago, I felt angry, guilt, grief, and fear. I was so incredibly afraid of the challenges my daughter would face in life. I was afraid that, like her mommy, she would be bullied by the mean kids in school, afraid that she would be ashamed of who she was, afraid that she would fall through the cracks in the educational system, and worst of all I was afraid that she would blame me for her blindness.
What does being afraid get you?
Nothing. Fear only brings more fear.
I chose to shift my fear into a fierce passion for a future full of endless opportunities.
Last November, I and a few other parents, organized the Nevada Organization of Parents of Blind Children. My vision for this organization is to reach every single parent of a blind or visually impaired child in Nevada. As human beings we thrive when we connect with other human beings. Blindness can be a scary thing. Blindness can be a life changer. However, blindness can also be empowering and powerful.
If we as parents choose to fear blindness, than our children will too fear blindness. Instead of fearing blindness, I choose to embrace it. When I hold my long white cane, I feel confident. I feel as if nothing can stop me if I have my can with me.
Marley has even begun to acknowledge her feelings. The other night while cuddling in bed after we’d read a few pages from her Braille copy of , “Amelia Bedelia,” she whispered that she felt nervous about using her cane, especially if I wasn’t there with her using mine. This was after a long four day weekend where both my husband and I had been busy in classes and my mother in law was flown in to stay with the kids. She didn’t want to look different or want to have people look at her. I told her it was ok to feel nervous, but we needed to figure out a way to turn that nervous feeling into a powerful feeling. We talked about all of the fun times we’ve had while using her cane like on our hikes, our camping trips, and decorating it and taking it trick-or-treating on Halloween. We also talked about the times she tripped and fell because she didn’t have her cane with her. So instead of feeling nervous about anymore, she chooses to feel happy, safe, and powerful when she has it.
Two days later, a classmate shared the following video on Facebook and I knew it would be the perfect end cap to this blog. It’s taken me almost a week to finally dedicate a few uninterrupted moments in posting, “C is for Choice.”
Until I write again, let’s all choose to make it a powerful week!
I believe this is the perfect way to start off my Tuesday, and so I must share it with you. No, it’s not the tipsy you’re probably thinking of.
Tuesdays on Blind Mom in the Burbs are now for Tricks and Tips for success in making life just a tad bit more easier for blind moms and dads, blind students, teachers of the blind, the newly blind, and even the sighted.
While checking the time on my phone first thing this morning before my alarm went off, I notice a message from a fellow blind mom. This is too good to keep to myself, So… here you go!
If you are a parent of a blind child or a teacher of the visually impaired then you absolutely need to check this out.
Blind Mom in the Burbs 