Yesterday I cried. I stood in the shower, let the hot water wash away my tears and cried. I felt overwhelmed, overworked, undernourished, under-hydrated, and under the wire. Crying felt amazing. As I cried I released all of those feelings suffocating me and I was able to breathe again.
Shortly before jumping into that shower, I received one of the best pieces of advice from a dear dear friend. I was so focussed on my lists, my schedules, my goals, and my commitments I wasn’t enjoying what was there right in front of me. Here is what she said…
“Tonight when you get in bed, don’t think about what you have to do tomorrow or what you didn’t do today. When you are lying there drifting off to sleep, think about what you get to do tomorrow and what you were able to do today.”
A simple shift of words can be such a powerful thing.
That’s exactly what I did last night. I layed there with both kids curled up on either side of me and my dog at my feet. I thought of how incredibly lucky I was to be there. Instead of thinking of the things I didn’t accomplish, I drifted off to sleep thinking about…
…the telescopes we made out of toilet paper rolls.
…the strawberry banana smoothie we shared.
…the books we read.
…the costumes we made out of ribbons, towels, and socks.
…the conversations I had over the phone with friends and family.
I also did something I usually never purposely do. I left my phone in the kitchen. This morning, instead of waking up to an alarm or alerts from messages, I woke up to my daughter’s head on my chest and her arms and legs wrapped around me, and my son’s toes tucked between my thighs and my arm tucked behind his head. Mornings like this morning are when I do nothing but breathe in their sweet scents, hold them tight, and slowly inhaled savoring each magical second like it’s the last.
Lying there watching the sun creep in, I breathed. We breathed. Three bodies, three hearts, breathing as one.