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How Much is Too Much?

In today’s world of social media, how much is too much when it comes to writing about yourself?  We live in a new found openness where everything is “shared”, “tweeted”, or “liked”  Where everyone and their mom has a Facebook account, well not my mom, but she is subscribed to my blog.  What happened to those days where you weren’t supposed to air your dirty laundry in your front yard?  Now a days, I often find out that friends have gotten engaged or ended a marriage by checking a few boxes in their public profiles.

Now…what about me and this blog?

How much is too much when it comes to writing about me and my family?  I have more than once gotten in trouble by things that I have written either via Facebook status or here on a blog post.  I tend to be ruled by my emotions, and also have a harsh passive aggressive tongue.  However, in contrast, I have also been applauded for my openness and honesty on writing about some very personal and sensitive subjects.  I have started about half a dozen drafts and deleted them in fear that they might be too much.

So…how much is too much?

In a previous blog post entitled, “Blogglng Can Be Like Therapy,” I wrote that I used to think people were crazy to write about themselves in such personal ways on the internet.  Here I am!  I am one of them.  Just today alone, I have already posted five times on Facebook.  Once this blog is published, it will be six times.

Yesterday I was overcome by a combination of utter exhaustion and about one hundred and one emotions all at the same time.  I found myself crying in our car in a popular posh shopping venue.  I sat there for over an hour wallowing in self pity and made my husband take our kids to meet my friends.  I can’t explain what caused  my melt down.  Maybe I’m depressed, maybe I’m under stimulated, maybe I’m lonely, maybe I’m about to start my period.  I suppose it is probably a combination of all of the above.  Maybe I’ll let a professional decide that.

Some people might read this and think, “Wow!  What a whiny  spoiled brat.  She is in a marriage  where many women would probably trade their left lung for.  She gets to spend her day playing with her two kids in a house in the suburbs planning play dates and parties.”

After reading Stephen Covey’s “Seven Habbits of Highly Effective People,” I have decided that I will no longer let the fear of what people think rule what I do.  I am going to write a personal mission statement and then together we will write our family mission statement.  I will write more blogs, work out more for my physical and mental health, read more Braille so I don’t loose a skill I had to fight to learn, and just overall be a better person.

So…was that too much?

Finding Time to Blog

I apologize that it has been over a month since my last blog.  I started Blind Mom in the Burbs last April.  At the time, my son was only six months old and my daughter was two and a half.  Our computer was in the back corner of the family room.  Now, My son is sixteen months, daughter is almost three and a half, and the computer is in the music/workout/computer/den in the very front of the house.  You can only imagine the difference a year makes.

Finding time to blog when you are home alone with two toddlers, is like finding time to breathe when you are under water.  It’s practically impossible.

Let me tell you about my morning.

My husband and I are on our second week of a 45 day cleanse.  This means, for 45 days this mama cannot eat pork, eggs, dairy, gluten, drink alcohol, on a strick eating schedule, and to top it all off, NO COFFEE.  I am going to be honest.  Last week was tough.  I started off my first day of NO COFFEE with a horrible hangover from going out the night before for a friend’s birthday.  Now that the coffee withdrawals are gone, I have found that burst of energy I was told about, and I feel great!

So with my newly discovered energy this morning, I decided to put away the laundry, tidy up the kids rooms, clean the play room, and scrub the bathrooms before a play date this afternoon.  I just assumed both my children were in the family room watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.  I should have  known better than to assume.  After a little while I went in there to check on them, not finding my son I immediately knew where to look.  As I turned the corner down the hall towards my bedroom I could hear the water running.  When I got into my bathroom, I found he had climbed up the tub, onto the counter, and across the sink (the sink we’d turned the wather off to since he had been found sitting in there before with the water on full blast).  He had made his way across the counter to the other sink and turned on the water letting it run over my lotion bottle, soap dispenser, and a glass candle (which he must have broken when dropping it in the sink.  When I went to pick him up, he had a piece of glass in his hand a scraped it across my cheek.  I usually keep all of the bedroom doors closed when he’s awake, but like I mentioned above, I was in the middle of cleaning.  Thankfully all of the broken glass was mostly contained in the sink, and he had no cuts on him.  My cheek is fine.  That is just an example of how that little booger keeps me on my toes.

Please don’t think that I am complaining.  This is merely an explanation of why I have not been blogging.

Any and every time I sit down, whether it be on the couch, ground, or computer chair, my kids think it means it’s time for them to climb all over me.  They are at such an adorable age.  I just can’t justify shewing them away so that I can sit at the computer.  They are only this little for so long.  Before I know it they won’t want anything to do with me.  Oh geese, I’m getting all teary eyed just thinking about that.  So for now, I am spending all of my energy keeping up with my two active toddlers and making sure to fully absorb all of the love they have to throw at me.  This doesn’t mean I’m not going to blog anymore, just not as frequently, because by the time those little ones are ready for bed, so is their exhausted mama.

“See With Your Fingers Mom!”

My two squirmy toddlers on our hammock

My two squirmy toddlers on our hammock

I have always wondered whether or not my children, as well as my dog, realize that mommy doesn’t see like everyone else.  Back when I used to take my dog to the dog park, he would tear off every which way if my husband was also there.  However, if it was just he and I, he never ran further than ten feet away from me.

Even now, with two toddlers, I am often asked how I manage to keep track of them at the park or indoor play gyms.  It’s really no effort at all.  My children are really great with checking in with me every few minutes.  I used to put my daughter in squeaky shoes when I took her to the park, but the shoes usually came off as soon as we got there.  I have heard of some moms putting bells in the laces of their kids shoes.  So with my son, I sometime put bells on his overalls, just because he can’t reply when I call him yet.  He’s also a sneaky little boo gar, that loves to get into everything.

Now that the kids are suffering from yet another cold in this endless cold and flu season, I am constantly wiping and sucking snot out of their noses.  This is quite tricky with squirmy toddlers.  Since I can’t see if there is a string of snot running down one of their faces, I just have to keep on top of it.  The tricky part is practically squishing the one year old to keep his hands in place with my belly and arms and doing a fast, yet very careful nose suck.  I keep one hand on the face both to keep his head still and also as a guide for the other hand that does the sucking.  My three year old is much better at understanding that Mommy needs to see with her fingers to make sure everything is clean.

Last night, we sat and watched the Lion King on the couch and I clipped 20 fingernails and 20 toenails.  I always amaze myself when I accomplish this task.  I can’t exactly describe my trick for managing not to cut any fingers or toes.  It just comes with lots and lots of practice and patience.

Tonight I just had to share what Marley said to me at dinner.  We usually keep the TV off during dinner, but tonight, we just turned the sound down and put some music on in the background.  It was the scary part of Coraline, and Marley kept asking me, “Mama what’s happening?”  I kept telling her that I didn’t know.  So after the tenth or so time of her asking, I said, “Marley, remember that Mommy can’t see like you do.  I can’t see what’s happening on the TV.”  So, to add to her adorable quotable Marley quotes, she replies, “See with your fingers Mom!”

A Carrot, An Egg, and A Cup of Coffee

Here is a wonderful story that makes you think about how you will act in times of adversity. I will never look at a cup of coffee in the same way after reading this.

morningstoryanddilbert's avatarMorning Story and Dilbert

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee…You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them…

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Eggnog Cookies

This holiday season, I decided to try my hand at baking.  Mind you, I don’t bake.  Like I’ve mentioned before, my idea of baking is opening up a box and adding eggs and water.  Wen I found the recipe for Eggnog Cookies, I was so excited to try it out.  Sadly, that first recipe was not as tasty as I’d hope it to be.  Luckily, the second recipe more than made up for the failure of the first. Since succeeding on that yummy batch I baked for my first cookie exchange, I’ve baked three more batches.  And today, the kids and I just went passing out little red baggies tied with jingle bells and curly red ribbon full of yummy eggnog cookies to our neighbors.

In the words of my dear husband, “Tastes like Christmas in your mouth.”

For a yummy batch of Eggnog Cookies, you will need;

2 1/4 cups of all purpose flour

1 teaspoon of baking powder

1/2 teaspoon of ground cinnamon

1/2 teaspoon of ground nutmeg

1 1/4 cups of white sugar

3/4 cups of butter (softened)

1/2 cup of eggnog

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

2 egg yolks

1 tablespoon of ground nutmeg

Preheat oven to 300 degrees F (150 degrees C).

Combine the flour, baking powder, cinnamon and nutmeg. Mix well and set aside.

Cream together the sugar and butter. Add eggnog, vanilla and egg yolks and beat until smooth.

Add the flour mixture and mix until combined; be careful not to overmix

Drop by rounded teaspoonfuls onto ungreased baking sheets 1 inch apart. Sprinkle lightly with nutmeg. Bake for 23 to 25 minutes or until bottoms turn light brown. Transfer to cool, flat surface immediately with a spatula.

Enjoy 🙂

This year in 2013, I added an extra stick of butter, substituted the all purpose flour with whole wheat flour, and instead of sprinkling nutmeg at the end before baking, I mixed the nutmeg in 1/2 cup of powdered sugar, and rolled the finished cookies in the sugar after cooling. AMAZING!!!

2013 recipe revision.  I added an extra stick of butter, substituted the all purpose flour with whole wheat flour, and instead of sprinkling nutmeg at the end before baking, I mixed the nutmeg in 1/2 cup of powdered sugar, and rolled the finished cookies in the sugar after cooling. AMAZING!!!

 

 

Thankful November in a Nutshell

I started out this month intending on publishing a blog post each day on something I am thankful for.  As you can see by looking at my recent posts, I only made it to day 9.

Here it is in a nutshell.

I am thankful for my parents who raised me to know the difference between right and wrong.  They gave me a brother, who gave me two beautiful nieces, and a sister who is the most loyal friend I could ask for.  They instilled in us the importance of family. showed us how to work hard, and taught us how to love and have compassion for others.

I am thankful for my husband’s family.  Without them, he wouldn’t be the man that he is today.

I am thankful for modern forms of telecommunication like cell phones, texting, emails, Facebook, and skype to help me stay in touch with my family and friends all over the world.

I am thankful for all the friends that I made throughout the years, both near and far.  You all know exactly who you are.

I am thankful for the opportunity to be a stay at home mom and raise two beautiful children who are so eager to learn, and never fail to bring a smile to my face.

I am thankful for a warm cozy bed, food in my fridge, and clothes on my back.

I am thankful for coffee, wine, and chocolate.  These are my drugs of choice.

I am thankful for fuzzy socks.

I am thankful for friendly neighbors who watch out for me and my children when my hubby is gone.

I am thankful the stucco guys finally started painting today and we are closer to having our backyard done.

I am thankful for the opportunity to blog and share my life with you.

And oh yes, one more thing.  I am thankful for my blindness.  Without it, I wouldn’t be the person that I am today.  Every experience, every challenge, every of struggle to try to fit in and look normal, every missed step or curb, every triumph, every mile I’ve traveled, every person I’ve met, every child I’ve taught, every person I’ve influenced, every accomplishment I’ve made or will make in the future are all because of my blindness.  I used to imagine what my life would be like if I had 20/20 vision, but then I wouldn’t be where I am today.  If somebody told me there was an opportunity for me to get all of my vision back, I honestly don’t know what I would do.  So until there is a 100%, 0 side effects, consequence free way, I’m going to have to pass for now.

30 Days of Thankfulness; Day 9


November 9, 2012

I am thankful for a long hot shower and hot tea.

This morning, while I was cooking pancakes for the kids, my husband told me I looked like shit.  He didn’t mean that in a mean way.  He was letting me know he could tell I was feeling pretty sick.  This cough that I’ve had for a few days is now a head cold.  My ears hurt.  My head has so much pressure built up, it feels like my eyes will pop the next time I sneeze.  And if I cough or try to talk, it felt and sounded like a frog crawled in my throat and died.  All I wanted was a nice long hot shower by myself.

If you don’t have children, then you don’t understand how rare those are.  They are truly a luxury for us stay at home moms.  Unless I get my butt out of bed before the kids wake up for a quick in and out rinse, it is rare that I get any time to myself in the bathroom.  If I choose staying in bed rather than showering, I either have to sneak away during Jack’s morning nap or have a little party in the shower with both toddlers at my feet.  So, after I finished making those pancakes, I decided to take advantage of having hubby home in the morning, and take myself a nice LONG HOT shower, alone.

Sadly, it didn’t last long enough.  Those showersnever do.  But the nice trade off for getting out before I was ready was the smell of breakfast sausages and potatoes calling to me.  The smell would usually be accompanied by my favorite smell in the morning, a fresh pot of coffee, but this morning I passed on the coffee.  This morning, and all day, I had what Marley likes to call, “Honey Tea.”  Honey Tea is Chamomile Tea with lots of honey.  The honey is supposed to help get rid of the cough.  Yes, I’m one of those weirdos that doesn’t take medicine unless I’m so sick I can’t get out of bed.

And now as I’m sitting here writing, I have with me a hot cup of Honey Tea accompanied my my favorite drink at night, a glass of red wine.  But I think I’ll save being thankful for wine for another night. 😉

30 Days of Thankfulness; Day 8

November 8, 2012

I am thankful for two very happy healthy children.

Just the other night I read an article about sixteen year old Esther Earl, who died of thyroid cancer.  Even though it’s been 2 years since Esther died, her story is still inspiring people and raising money.  I finished that article with an ache in my heart and tears in my eyes.  To be Esther’s parents, or all the other parents with children who develop cancer, is a role I hope to never have to play.

Here are just a few numbers to think about;

I promise to cherish each and every giggle, scraped knee, tear, tantrum, food fight, hug, kiss, snuggle, and each and every, “I love you Mama” with every bit of my heart.

30 Days of Thankfulness; Day 7

November 7, 2012

I am thankful that the elections are over, and we no longer have to endure the ridiculous slander and vulgarity that was supposed to be campaigning.  I’m not going to get all preachy or political, but simply say, “Thank God it’s over.”

30 Days of Thankfulness; Day 6

November 6, 2012

I am thankful for the angels disguised as nurses this day three years ago in the Labor and Delivery Unit of Summerlin Hospital.

At my 39 week prenatal appointment I was informed by my nurse that I could schedule an induction date if I wanted to.  So of course, being the schedule freak that I am, I jumped right at the chance.  My biggest fear about going into labor was that it would happen while the hubby was fighting a fire and I wouldn’t be able to get a hold of him.

It was a Thursday.  Jokingly I asked my doctor, “How about tonight?”  He scanned his calendar and replied, “OK come in at 8:00pm.”  My husband and I exchanged nervous glances in realization that he wasn’t kidding.  As we left the office, I called my mom in Northern California to tell her to start heading to the airport.  In the next few hours, we managed to clean the condo, go out for pho, drop our dog off at a friend’s house, and pick my mom up from the airport.  I checked into Summerlin Hospital’s L & D unit just before 8:00pm with no clue what the next seventeen hours would be like.

It all started off so calm and relaxing.  The room smelled of lavender from the air freshener I’d brought.  Soft smooth melodies from our birthing playlist floated in the background from the iPod.  Friends came and went.  We didn’t know the sex, but there were two names scribbled  on the dry erase board, Marley James for a boy, and Marley Jane for a girl.  Then some time in the middle of the night it all changed.  The contractions became unbearable.  My body must not have handled thpain meds or the epidural very well.  I got so cold that my teeth were chattering and my knees were rattling.  No amount of fuzzy socks or blankets could warm me up.  My blood pressure dropped to 60/20 and I had to spend the rest of my time in labor wearing an oxygen mask.

Then at 1:12pm on Friday November 6, 2009, after an hour of pushing, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  But something was wrong.  She wasn’t crying.  I had about thirty seconds of skin to skin while the doctor cut the umbilical cord.  I was so out of it all I remember was my husband kissing my forhead and telling me, “Great job Mama.  It’s a girl.”  Somewhere in the room, angels disguised as nurses were with my baby.  They were saying, “Come on Marley, breathe baby, breathe.”  I couldn’t let myself panic.  Weak from labor, I just let the tears roll down my cheeks as I listened for what seemed like an eternity until the sweetest most delicate cry broke free as my daughter grasped for her first breath of air.

I don’t remember those Angels names, but I am forever thankful to them for being there to help my baby girl breathe her first breaths that day.