What Would You Do With “THAT MOM” With “THOSE KIDS?”

As you may know I run the Southern Highlands Moms, Babies, and Tots group through mmetup.com.  It’s been great getting to meet so many wonderful moms who are all interested in finding friends for themselves and their kids.  However, I very recently ran into a situation that I really wasn’t sure exactly how to handle.

I have had many complaints about one of the moms from other members.  She has two very rambunctious boys who have on numerous occasions terrorized and hurt the other children, damaged members’ properties, and just recently were asked to leave a birthday party.  I really don’t blame the boys.  The are only three after all.   

If you see your kids eating cupcakes at a party before the birthday song has even been sung, wouldn’t you do something about it?  If your children were going through another mom’s purse, wouldn’t you do something about it?  If your children hit or pushed another child, wouldn’t you do something about it?  

What did those kids’ mom do?  She was too busy making videos and taking photos.  She sat on the couch on her phone or iPad.  Instead of making conversation and getting to know the other moms in the group, or disciplining her children, she videochatted on her iPad.  

I had considered letting her stay in the group only letting her access to public play dates and banning her from members homes, but another member brought up a very good question.  “What exactly does she bring to the table?  She’s never hosted a play date.  She’s never opened up her home to us.  She’s disengaged and often even has made offensive comments to other moms in the group.”  That member was right.  

I really hate being the bad guy, but unfortunately, as organizer of the group it was up to me to do something about it.  I feel like it’s my responsibility to protect my moms, their children, and their property.  So in the end I chose to remove that mom altogether.  

What would you have done if you were in my shoes?

 
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4 thoughts on “What Would You Do With “THAT MOM” With “THOSE KIDS?”

  1. Very interesting scenario! My sister, who has a two-year-old and for your mobile is also in a mom’s group here in Virginia. I want to pass this along to see what she thinks. I think you did the right thing! Did anyone have any morning conversation with this lady? Maybe she was just completely clueless? What she knew to the area?

    Sent from my iPhone

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    • I tried contacting her after our last play date at my house and never got a response. I know that she had mentioned to other moms that all of the other kids at one of the birthday parties were all better behaved. She must have had some sort of clue. Most of us are all new to the area. I personally got the feeling that she only came to the play dates so she could get a break and relax while the other moms could chase her kids around.

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  2. MamaRupp, this is BayAreaBlindMom here. I would have to agree that, as tough as it can be to play the bad guy, talking to her and letting her know that she’s in danger of being banned from the group is a very real consequence for her kids. Let her know that her kids are not behaving and are actually hurting other kids and that’s not allowable. Is there a way to post general rules and guidelines on your MeetUp group list? Maybe it is a good idea to send out the rules once a month letting people know that if they do not abide by these rules they will be told to leave.
    –Bay Area Blind Mom
    (Check me out at http://bayareablindmom.wordpress.com)

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    • LM every member gets a welcome email upon approval into the group with all of the group rules and what I look to get from the group. I’m told that I have one of the more relaxed meetup groups where I don’t immediately penalize people for missing play dates. Every 2 or 3 months I go through and remove a few members due to lack of participation on the group site and not attending play dates. This is to ensure that my group doesn’t get too large and we have an active membership. However this was that first time I’d had to remove someone for behavior problems. Lol I sound like a teaching or something. But like I said in my reply to Jessica’s comment. this mom didn’t socialize with any other moms and I personally felt like she was using us as a free babysitting service so she could play on her iPad or talk on the phone.

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