Tag Archives: Blind

30 Days of Thankfulness; Day 6

November 6, 2012

I am thankful for the angels disguised as nurses this day three years ago in the Labor and Delivery Unit of Summerlin Hospital.

At my 39 week prenatal appointment I was informed by my nurse that I could schedule an induction date if I wanted to.  So of course, being the schedule freak that I am, I jumped right at the chance.  My biggest fear about going into labor was that it would happen while the hubby was fighting a fire and I wouldn’t be able to get a hold of him.

It was a Thursday.  Jokingly I asked my doctor, “How about tonight?”  He scanned his calendar and replied, “OK come in at 8:00pm.”  My husband and I exchanged nervous glances in realization that he wasn’t kidding.  As we left the office, I called my mom in Northern California to tell her to start heading to the airport.  In the next few hours, we managed to clean the condo, go out for pho, drop our dog off at a friend’s house, and pick my mom up from the airport.  I checked into Summerlin Hospital’s L & D unit just before 8:00pm with no clue what the next seventeen hours would be like.

It all started off so calm and relaxing.  The room smelled of lavender from the air freshener I’d brought.  Soft smooth melodies from our birthing playlist floated in the background from the iPod.  Friends came and went.  We didn’t know the sex, but there were two names scribbled  on the dry erase board, Marley James for a boy, and Marley Jane for a girl.  Then some time in the middle of the night it all changed.  The contractions became unbearable.  My body must not have handled thpain meds or the epidural very well.  I got so cold that my teeth were chattering and my knees were rattling.  No amount of fuzzy socks or blankets could warm me up.  My blood pressure dropped to 60/20 and I had to spend the rest of my time in labor wearing an oxygen mask.

Then at 1:12pm on Friday November 6, 2009, after an hour of pushing, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  But something was wrong.  She wasn’t crying.  I had about thirty seconds of skin to skin while the doctor cut the umbilical cord.  I was so out of it all I remember was my husband kissing my forhead and telling me, “Great job Mama.  It’s a girl.”  Somewhere in the room, angels disguised as nurses were with my baby.  They were saying, “Come on Marley, breathe baby, breathe.”  I couldn’t let myself panic.  Weak from labor, I just let the tears roll down my cheeks as I listened for what seemed like an eternity until the sweetest most delicate cry broke free as my daughter grasped for her first breath of air.

I don’t remember those Angels names, but I am forever thankful to them for being there to help my baby girl breathe her first breaths that day.

30 Days of Thankfulness; Day 2

November 2, 2012

I am thankful for my friends I’ve made since moving to Las Vegas

It is not always easy when you are a blind mom in the burbs of Las Vegas.  This isn’t the most pedestrian friendly city.  Between the hot tripple digit summers, the wind storms, the freezing winters, I can’t exactly walk everywhere with my little ones in their double stroller.  There have been many times I’ve called friends to pick up milk, diapers, or even just to come over and read me the dosage directions to a new box of medicine.

When the word got out about the wreck, concerns and support came pouring in.  Everyone wanted to know if there was anything they could do.

The stress of my hubby’s accident kept me in a sour mood for days.  Once my friends found this out, they all made it their goal to put some sweetness back into my mood.

I don’t have any family in town, so knowing there are friends who I can call at any time of day or night for any particular reason helps to make Las Vegas feel like we live in a small close knit community.  We take turns watching each others’ kids.  We borrow each other’s clothes and jewelry, We share recipes.  We go out for drinks.  We gossip over coffee.  We throw each other birhtday shindigs and showers.  We hand down our children’s clothing.  We understand that sometimes things come up.  We don’t judge or criticize, but rather offer comfort  and hugs.

I wish all of my friends could live in the same city as me, but then there’d be no reason for me to visit SF, Austin, Tampa, Seattle, Virginia, Hawaii, China, Sweden and everywhere else in the world.

October Reflections

As I looked at myself in the mirror this morning while I was brushing my teeth, it really hit me how much my life has changed.  I was slightly hung over from the margaritas I had at the concert the night before.  I had dark circles around my eyes, thanks to the lack of sleep that accompanies motherhood.  My husband was stretching on the bedroom floor, son babbling in his room down the hall, and daughter snoring in my bed.  I couldn’t help but smile and thank my lucky stars for such a wonderful way to start a day.

My first time in Las Vegas was in October of 2005.  My then boyfriend, now husband of five years, was moving here for work and I decided to keep him company on his drive out.  I was still in college, doing the clubbing, shopping, cramming, and sleeping in until noon on weekends lifestyle.  As he decided to leave Sacramento, I too decided that I was ready for a change.  I had just attended my first NFB of California State Convention and realized that my, “Fake it till you make it,” philosophy was not working as well as I wanted it too.  I decided that I was going to put the rest of college on hold and learn Braille, and did so by becoming a student at the Louisiana Center for the Blind just a few months later.

In October of 2006, I left LCB and my safe bubble of friends who lived just a few doors away with positive blindness philosophy oozing out of my pores, and stepped off the plane into the next three years which would be filled with depression, denial, and distancing.

If you know me at all, then you know that I am a social butterfly.  I thrive with the company of others.  I am always smiling and love to share it with just about anyone.  But, I had know idea what moving to Las Vegas was going to be like.  I didn’t know anyone besides my husband and his twenty year old sister, who had her own social life that I had rather not tag along on.  All of the confidence that I’d gained in Louisiana seemed to disappear after a month or so.  I started to sink more and more into depression the more and more I allowed myself to stay isolated.  This is probably why I volunteered so much time and energy with the NFB.  So much time and energy that it started to take a real strain on my marriage.  I was gone all of the time.  I jumped at any chance to hop on a plane taking me to events all over the country.  I even left for a summer internship in Baltimore right after we got back from our honeymoon.

Then in October of 2009, I was just weeks from having a baby, house hunting, putting together a state convention, and feeling like I was the ball in the pinball machine getting tossed all over the place.  I didn’t realize how much having a baby would change my life, she was the anchor to steady me and keep me grounded,

On October 8, 2011 the last piece of the puzzle was put into place when my son was born.  Yes, exactly one year ago, I was holding my brand new baby boy wishing that time would stand still.

But of course it didn’t, and it is now October 2012.  My son has just turned one and tonight his big sister helped him blow out his candle on a mini cheesecake.  He is now walking, actually running all over the house chasing his sister and our dog, sometimes going so fast he forgets how to slow down or stop and runs into walls.  I have made so many incredible friends whom I love and consider like family.  And we will all be celebrating Jackson’s first birthday this Saturday in the form of a pirate party complete with bounce house and all.

I might not have a killer body, six digit pay check, drive a fancy car, or wear designer clothes, but this is the  life.  I could never possibly ask for anything more.  And I am so thankful for everything and everyone that I have in my life.

The “Touchy” Topic of Poop

I have to tell you that the dialog gets a whole lot more descriptive amongst my blind mommy friends.  I was the first one out of us to have a baby, so I never really had anyone to go to with questions about what non visual techniques other blind parents used.  Back then I wasn’t aware of a blind parent list serve or a blind parents group on Facebook.  I guess you could say I was sort of in the dark on this one.  So once my friends started having babies and the topic of changing diapers came up, it was quite refreshing finding out that I am not the only one who also gets creative.
Diaper Dialog
Q.  How do you change a diaper when you can’t see?
A.  Just like I do everything else, by using non-visual techniques.  I rely on my other senses along with the vision that I do have.  Obviously, I don’t use my sense of taste.  I can hear if the baby is peeing while I’m changing the diaper.  I can smell if there is anything odd about the pee or poop.  I am not afraid to use my sense of touch to make sure that it all got clean.
Q.  Have you ever gotten pee or poop on yourself?
A.  What parent hasn’t gotten pee or poop on themselves?  That simply just comes with the territory of being a parent.  Although, I have to admit that there have been a few times that my husband has informed me that I got poo on the wall, or light switch, or wipe warmer.
Q.  How do you know if your baby has a diaper rash?
A.  Once again it’s that lovely sense of touch that I turn to.  There’s nothing wrong with touching your baby.  It’s a proven fact that skin to skin contact stimulates cognitive and emotional development in babies.  A butt with a diaper rash feels very different from a butt without a diaper rash.  It also doesn’t hurt to use a soothing diaper rash cream even if there isn’t one.
Q.  Often, you need to pay attention to details like consistency and color, especially once you’re baby is eating solids.  How do you tell the difference?
A.  Ladies and gentlemen, I say it again.  I am not afraid to use my sense of touch.  you can usually tell the difference in texture and consistency while wiping.  There have been a few times that I have had to use a wipe to inspect the poop.  As for color, I can tell if it’s light or dark, but wouldn’t be able to describe if it were actually green or orange.  Yesterday, my husband told me that my son’s poop was blue.  Well, he did eat a few blueberries the day before
 Meet Jackson. He is probably the most mild tempered baby in the world.  The only times he cries is if he’s hungry or if his big sister beats up on him.  Now that he is crawling, he is getting into everything and putting all sorts of things into his mouth. Until recently, Jackson has never had a diaper rash.  Since Saturday we have had a new Jackson in our house.  A Jackson that cries all the time and is pooping 7 times a day and is now suffering from his first diaper rash.  Jackson is giving me lots of practice in using my non-visual techniques.  It is because of him that I am sharing with you on the “touchy” topic of poop.

Staying Cool and Keeping Your Cool Through the Terrible Twos

As the temperature in Las Vegas sore to triple digits, so do the intensity levels of the tantrums in our house. It seems like every day is a battle to avoiding the tantrum of the year. Here are a few things I do to stay cool through these hot times of the terrible twos.

1. Pool Play Dates:

My mommy friends and I have started taking the kids to the pool at the M Hotel. There is a large shallow area where the kids can safely splash and us mommies can lounge and catch up. I have to admit, I was a bit nervous about taking the kids to a pool without my husband to help keep an eye on the kids, but I really had nothing to worry about with the awesome group of moms that are there who help watch each others’ kids. We bought Marley one of those life jackets that fully surrounds her torso and buckles between the legs so that she can’t slip out, but she refused to where it the first time at the pool. I told her that if she didn’t want to wear her life jacket, she needed to stay right next to me. And that’s exactly what she did. She just happily splashed next to me and her little brother while the other kids ran around in their floaties. The next time at the pool, she agreed to wear her life jacket when she wanted to join me in the deeper area

When it came time for us to leave, everyone there got to witness one of those famous tantrums. Marley made it loud and clear that she didn’t want to get out of the pool. I calmly held her tight between my legs so that she couldn’t throw herself down on the hot cement and forced on a fresh diaper and dry clothes.

I learned my lesson for the next time. About half an hour before it was time to leave, I ordered a bunch of french fries as a distraction. It worked! Marley didn’t even notice that I was changing her out of her bathing suit and into dry clothes. All she cared about was shoveling fries into her mouth. And when the other kids went back into the water, she was still shoveling down fries.

2. Get a Water Table:

When getting to the pool isn’t an option, due to not having a ride or the kids being sick, we go out back and splash in the water table. What’s a water table you ask? It’s a toddler sized table that holds water for the kids to play at. This is a nice clean way to stay cool while our backyard is in mid-remodel and currently looks like a war zone.

3. Extra Long Baths:

The water table is only good for so long. When it’s over 107 degrees out, even splashing in the shade doesn’t help. This is when I let my kids have extra long baths. This also means extra water to clean up on the floor since Jackson has just recently learned to splash and he and his big sister get into splash wars.

4. B Proactive instead of Reactive:

I’ve learned that one of the reasons for the tantrums at this age is because their little brains are growing so fast that they easily get bored. This is why it is especially important to take a proactive rather than a reactive approach to the day. It’s not always easy. Don’t get me wrong. It’s a lot of work, and exhausting, but it’s worth it if it means getting through the day without a tantrum. Every 20 minutes or so, I bring out a new activity (whether it’s coloring, building blocks, drawing on her chalk board, playing pretend with toys, reading, building forts out of couch pillows and blankets, etc.) She cooks when I cook with her plato. She follows me with her toy vacuum when I vacuum. I have made a preschool-like curriculum where she works on a new letter each day. The key to success is to keep things simple.

5. Mommy Time Outs:

When toddler time out no longer work, it’s time to take a mommy time out. If you’ve never been a stay at home mom, than you truly have no idea how exhausting of a job it is. We don’t get 10 minute breaks. We don’t get lunch breaks. Sometimes, we don’t even get bathroom breaks. That is why taking time for yourself is so important. Your mommy time out can be as simple as putting on a movie for your little one and taking a nice long shower, or making daddy watch the kids for a few hours and getting out of the house.

Two weekends ago was one of those weekends where I needed an extra long mommy time out. Both kids had been sick and throwing up on me all night. The tantrums were on overdrive. We had unexpected house guests. And I had probably slept a total of 4 hours in 3 days. I told my husband, “If I don’t get a few Marley free hours, she might not make it through the weekend in one piece.” I had him drop me off for a mini facial at my own little piece of Heaven, also know as Spa Mio at the M Hotel. I had two lovely hours with just me, myself, and I in a steam room along with a 25 minute cleansing facial. It was the perfect way to recharge my batteries.

So there you have it, just a few ways to staying cool and keeping your cool through those terrible twos.

Blind Mom in the Burbs

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I’m often asked by my blind friends , “How does a blind mom do it in the suburbs?”,.  My answer , “I just do it.”  I’m also often told by  people who I meet, “I never would have guessed that you had anything wrong with your eyes.   You’re so confident and well-rounded.”  My usual response, “Are you trying to say that blind people can’t be confident or well-rounded.  I happen to know a good number of blind people who are way more confident and well-rounded than most sighted people. “

So, how do I do it?  I do it with the skills that I obtained when I decided to change my life by spending 9 months at the Louisiana Center for the Blind., also known as the Boot Camp for the Blind.  Since I have some vision I spend 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, under a blindfold (which they call sleep shades).  I learned how to use and travel confidently with a cane.  This included finding random addresses, getting dropped off and having to find my way back to the center, and finishing up with a 5.6 mile scavenger hunt around town.  I learned how to read Braille.  I single-handedly cooked a full 4 coarse meal for 40.  I learned how to use a computer by using a screen reading software, and even mastered Power Point and Excel.  And to top it all off I worked in a full on wood shop and can even show you the jewelry box that I made from scratch.

LCB’s philosophy comes from the National Federation of the Blind which says that, “The real problem with blindness is not the loss of eyesight.  The real problem is the misunderstanding and lack of information that exists.  If a blind person has proper training and opportunity, blindness can be reduced to a physical nuisance.”

Today, I am a stay at home mom with a 2.5 year-old daughter and 6 1/2 month old son.  We are fortunate that my husband has a job that allows him to support us and let me stay home to raise our children.  We live in a small master planned suburb of Las Vegas called Southern Highlands.  We decided to purchase our home here because of the small town feel of the community.  Everything I need is within walking distance.  I run an active mommy meet up group called Southern Highlands Moms, Babies, and Tots.  I cook, clean, change diapers, do loads and loads of laundry, and everything else the typical mom does.  However, we’re separated from the rest of the city by 2 miles of desert, so the fact that I don’t drive makes it a little difficult to get anywhere else.  There is no bus line here.  The pediatrician’s office is about 10 miles away.  The average temp in summer is 112 and the average temp in winter is 40.  Stay tuned, and you’ll learn how a blind mom does it in the burbs.  ImageImage